insecurities

Looking Through The Lense

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I never realized how completely uncomfortable I was with my body, until I saw myself on camera. The way I am naturally, the way my chin merges with my neck, the affect of a terrible angle… it makes me so uncomfortable. I start thinking to myself “do I really look this gross?”

I thought this was supposed to be the most beautiful version of me and here I am, looking terrible. Nothing makes me feel more self conscious than seeing myself through the lense.

It’s upsetting to think that with the cultural expectations of the media, the encouraged use of filters and the attention given to the masks, natural beauty looks ugly. I cant help but to critique everything I see and have to edit. I cant help but to compare myself to those in the photo next to me. The natural and raw image uncomfortable until I choose my favorite filter and wait for the attention.

See ya later Work’nGirl

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Romance

A True Love Story

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Don’t go looking for it. It will come to you. Its going to hit you like a train. And like any train, it’s not going to come to you on time. You want it this very second, but that’t not how it works. Love finds you when you’re ready. How do you speed up this process? You cant. You can go looking around for any single individual and believe that its time, that this person is the one but I’m going to lay down the truth of it. You will never feel fulfilled in any relationship until you yourself feel fulfilled. Go ahead and sit on that a minute.

I remember talking about all these amazing goals I had with a coworker. All about the house I was going to have and the places I was going to go. How fulfilled and straight headed I was. You know what he did? He laughed! He told me “No way. That is not how it goes. You’re going to meet him and he is going to get in the way of all of that. You wont reach any of those goals and you’ll be okay with it because it’s him.” Once he said that, I was completely shocked. I had been working so hard, taking care of myself, doing everything to get myself on track and reach those goals. A literal month later, at the prime of my life, he popped in.

The trick here is that once you get away from focusing on finding the ONE and learn to love yourself, it will come to you. You cant go looking for it, it HAS to come to you. If you think about it this way, no two people should be together if they are not the best version of themselves. The two people thrive as a couple if they can thrive individual. Do you know what the two people become. Powerful, strong and unstoppable.

That man and I are still together, two years later. We still cherish each other. We pick each other up during those low points. I have completely fallen off my original track and I don’t regret it. My goals have become our goals. Everything has become what we can do for and with one another. It becomes more than just love, its friendship, partnership and complete respect for the other person. Instead of the 50/50 ratio, we stuck to 100/100. He gives me his all and I give him my all.

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When it comes to the love hungry people of this time, if you seem to be in and out of relationships, cant stick to one person and want to find the one person.I advise the Work’n Girl to love yourself first, then allow another person to love you harder. Stop looking and focus on you because one day you’ll look up, and that will be it. You will feel safe. Not excited, not nervous, anxious or sweaty. You will feel completely comfortable and dive right in.

See ya later Work’n Girl

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The Stranger Within

 

Hold on honey, do download (1)you even know what you want anymore?

I don’t what you’re dealing with, going through or how you are personally feeling, but I do know that I fall into those slumps and they can be deep. You know the ones? The ones where all motivation seems to be gone. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds and the scale just wont budge! You might be struggling with a promotion, your self image or even just your own self talk and the feeling of lack of accomplishment. These things can really weigh you down. You start asking yourself, “what has happened to me?” Or “boy have I lost my way! I have never been this far off track.”

I’m here to motivate you! Lets put that spring back in your step and get going on the issue here:

My worst slump was after dropping out of college. I fell into the idea that it was a waste of time, money and realized that I was losing the best parts of myself. I then decided working was worse because now I was making some dude rich. I had decided that working under someone else for the rest of my life was not going to work for me. I no longer had the motivation to hold a job for more than 3 days! I would like to say I became an entrepreneur but if I am being honest, I got lazy. I burned myself out taking school too seriously and took a long break!

I took time to discover myself. I had never gone through a rebellious phase but I guess this was it. I realized that I had only been doing what was expected of me rather than what I wanted. I got tattoos and piercings despite what mom had wanted, I decided to look to the real world for my opportunities. Before that I had gone through Amway, I tried to understand Forex, I thought of short term education to get my Interior design degree, I tried babysitting to make up my own schedule and even went through CNA training. I couldn’t follow through with any of it. It still did not feel like I had found my niche. I still knew what I wanted my future and what I wanted my life to look like.

The money and time that I spent for some sort of epiphany was an absolute waste, I had to stop seeking out the answers. It came down to myself and the person I wanted to be.

When you find yourself in a slump, a hole or you are just not motivated to move towards that dream, take some time to get to know yourself. Spending time with loved ones, living, traveling, trying new food and to open your eyes to the things go on in the present. Fixating on the future is exhausting.. Going through those experiences and then trying to turn back to the 9-5 system is what made me want to pull out of it.

Its almost like you have become a stranger to yourself. You almost don’t recognize yourself after following the norm for so long. It is here that I advise the Work’nGirl to find her self, discover what YOU need and go for it. It is not about anyone else. Do for you. Take responsibility for those decisions and keep grinding. Save yourself the time, the money and the confusion. Don’t do what everyone expects, but what you crave.

See ya later Work’nGirl

 

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I advise the work’n girl to. . . self indulge!

I don’t know about you lady, but I am exhausted. Aren’t you tired? I bet it can often feel like you do a LOT for everyone else and don’t have much time for yourself. Maybe you’re a mama and put your kids on the list before yourself? Maybe you are a young one trying to save up for your first apartment? Or maybe your an adolescent always putting your friends before yourself? Whatever the scenario, it is time that you do for your beautiful self!

So much gets in the way of taking care of ourselves –mind, body and soul– and we eventually find ourselves feeling frumpy. When I say frumpy, I mean you have noticed stress acne, your body isn’t feeling so A-1, maybe you are constantly tired or just don’t seem to have it all together. In my experience, this is because I have too much on my plate! I have spread myself so thin, that I can’t fit MYSELF on the darn plate! It seems that I begin putting everyone and everything before myself. Everyone knows when they are at this point! Emotionally, physically and mentally, you just don’t seem to have it all together.

My dear, you have run yourself to the ground. I advise you, the working girl, to self indulge. Take some pressure off of those shoulders and give yourself some self love! Here are some ways you can show yourself some love and bring balance to that plate!

  1. Do something for yourself! Now I am most certainly not made of money but every now and then, it feels really good to pamper yourself. Maybe splurge and get yourself that manicure? You can also give yourself that extra alone time and paint your own nails. My point here is not the nails but merely to give yourself some extra attention. Doing this will not only make you feel a little better in your skin, but you get some of that desperately needed alone time with yourself.
  2. Meditate! Now this may sound odd, this may even be something you have never done before or don’t really care to do–to each their own– but with meditation comes balance and boy do you need some balance! It is really important to take a few minutes to sit inside your own head. For me, it is a moment to admit and forgive my faults and to tell myself positive things. If this is something that you feel you need to do, you should look into Chakras and how to balance them! Here is a link to kind of explain the deal better than I can! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/329959110178977395/
  3. Exercise! Seriously, how often are you told that you should exercise? It’s ridiculous and you’re probably sick of hearing it, but it’s the truth. In this case, it is dedicated time to your body! Nothing says “I love my body” like a 20 minute run. . . In all seriousness, this is something that I find helps clear my head. I flush out the negative thoughts, the anger I have built up dealing with other people and by the end of it, you feel truly accomplished. Maybe even fuel your body with something good for ya! Mastering the painful art of eating all those healthy fruits and vegetables is one heck of a task but it will certainly give you some good energy to get through those long rough days.
  4. Don’t forget about you! Honey. . . it is time for you to put yourself on the list, there is plenty of room for you! Now I don’t mean that you should boot everything else off of your to-do list but to simply add yourself. Maybe sleep in a little more one day, have a girls night, spend some time ripping off that mustache we cant seem to lose, watch some 50 shades, whatever it is, add yourself! At the end of the day, all that matters is your happiness with yourself. If you know you are unhappy with yourself and sense a major lacking of self love, then do something about it.

Now I am most certainly no expert but I have seen a lot of ladies burn out due to the unfortunate expectations from ourselves and others. You must remember that you are only human, you don’t have to do it all but you must always take care of yourself!

See ya later Work’n Girl

 

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Welcome Lucky Lady!

To the lucky lady that has stumbled in,

Welcome! This blog is all about you, your troubles, and how we can improve on them! IAdviseTheWork’nGirl has been designed to empower and encourage you beautiful women. I simply want to help, maybe give you a compliment or two, and help you to be as happy and healthy as possible. I figure that women often beat down on themselves and each other far too much. I want to encourage a community where we treat each other like the amazing women we are. All women are amazing, absolute goddesses, I simply want to bring some positive thoughts, helpful tips and encouragement for those that are struggling.

See ya later Work’n Girl